Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
