Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
