The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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