I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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