Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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