i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
