Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
