Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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