New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
