somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
