He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
