that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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