she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
