"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
