Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
