i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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