The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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