Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
