hell yes lets make some ravioli
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
