i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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