If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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