He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
