She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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