I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize