either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
