Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
