youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
