I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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