You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
