I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
