I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
