Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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