Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
