Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
