Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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