Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
