Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
