Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
