I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
