And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
