Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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