Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
