A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dignity is for republicans.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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