If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How external is "for external use only"?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
