Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
