i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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