He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
