She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
