I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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