its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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