so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
