Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cut my penus on the lid.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
