You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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