How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
